When I was new at this entrepreneurial thing, this "elevation" thing, I used to judge those big shots who never seemed to have time for people. But now at this place, I realize that part of fulfilling your dreams is being very cautious with your time and attention. You just can't help everyone all the time. Sometimes, you have to be content to help those you can. The moment helping begins to bring you away from where God placed you, begins to rob you of what you absolutely need, then you're doing way too dang much. There is a cost to being set apart. You may as well decide if you plan to pay it now or not. It doesn't work for everyone because everyone doesn't understand the art of sacrifice. Everyone doesn't like discipline. Everyone isn't okay with being ridiculed and ostracized by those who once they believed were friends and family.

The hardest part to becoming "someone" is divorcing the "no one" mentality. We are not born with a no one mentality. It is bred into us by society, community, family, those we thought were friends, and circumstances. So when you hear the clarion call of the Lord one morning and decide to heed it, you are around those who have been helping you to feel like nothing for a long time. It takes separation. That was what the story of Abraham taught us in the Bible. But he was not the only one and you are not the last one to be set apart.

I recently had to leave my ex completely alone. I loved him. I thought I wanted him and needed him. He was like a comforting blankie that reminded me of where I came from in a whole new world of people celebrating my "greatness" and accomplishments. And indeed, he kept me reminded by never fully supporting me. He didn't see the shining star others saw. So I felt it would keep me humble with my feet on the ground. But God called me to fly, to soar in fact. The feet have to leave the ground for that. So I tried to carry his dead weight of unbelief and I couldn't get anywhere. You see, there will never be a call that does not require a loss of some things and some people. Not ever! I had to let him go. God didn't plan for his disbelief to keep eating away at me. I thought I needed to be reminded because I was afraid of believing in the greatness myself. But it was all a crutch, a well-oiled machined engineered to give me an excuse for only going so far. When I was shown so clearly what it was, a barrier and excuse, and who controlled it, me, I cancelled operation of the machine and kicked him out of my life.

Guys, you have to stop being afraid of the same thing you keep praying for. You have to understand that separation from those you think you need is often the final step before you are enraptured with God and taken places, showed things, and loved better than ever. In Him, we don't have to fight to stay humble. Humility is the natural state of those who are close to God. We don't have to watch our step for fear of falling off path. He put you on the path and keeps you on it until he sees fit to move you around. See, IN God, I do mean in, we can stop the toil of the soul, the anxieties, the fears, the drama, the confusion. He has you. But the spot for you is only big enough for you. You cannot bring everyone and everything with you. I'm not saying go file for a divorce or break up your home. I am simply stating that in God, in step with God, some things will fall away. Some things will be added. You won't always agree because of your finite knowledge and wisdom. But He knows tomorrow while we ponder it. He has a reason, purpose and plan. The cost of greatness for the believer is to obey God and open your hands. What is yours will remain. What isn't will be blown away. In obedience though, and in time you see that there was a reason for it all. 

So go on and separate yourself to God. Stop wrestling and just submit it all to His wisdom and knowledge. Don't let others make you feel guilty because you believe in God, because you are striving for better, because you have to move on without them. They don't understand but in time, if they are blessed, they will. At the end of the day, they aren't your concern. God is!

1. What drives you to get up every morning? 
My children and my promises to them that I will make a better life for them and show them how to be a successful woman with integrity.

2. What obstacles did you have to overcome to write a book? 
I had to first overcome emotional pain that would allow me to comfortably write about my past experiences. I had never written a book before, and I didn’t know authors or other writing coaches at that time that could guide me in the process. Thankfully, I have a natural writing skill that allowed me to also do research and reference the books I’ve read on formatting.

3. What is your favorite book? 
God’s Gonna Make You Laugh by Noel Jones

4. Are there songs that put you in the mood to write? What are they? 
I love listening to music and to the television while I’m writing.  I like to listen to Gospel, R&B and Hip-Hop depending on my mood. I’m such a moody writer so it’s more when the mood hits me that I will get on a flow.  I’m also a big thinker so as I go throughout the day, I will write little notes and then make the decision to sit down and put everything together.

5. As a national speaker, what are your passions you hope to share with the world? 
My passions are domestic abuse and promoting healthier relationships. I hope to share my personal experiences mixed with my professional experiences to help people understand domestic abuse in its totality from the victim, abuser and legal perspectives.  I also want to help people learn how to have healthy relationships in order to minimize the rate of abuse.  Finally, I want to tackle the hidden prevalence of abuse that is not appropriately addressed in the churches and among African-Americans.

6. What are your thoughts on coaching, writing and speaking as a career choice for others? 
I believe people should pursue their passions and not just for money. Coaching, writing and speaking gives you the platform to impact a positive change in society and if you’re not clear on your purpose behind those efforts, your messages will be ineffective and less authentic.

7. Share one thing no one knows about you. 
I often say that I’m done having children. But, I still think of raising more children either adopted or maybe having another. 

8. Share one thing you wish you were better at. 
I wish I was better at being a hustler in the sense of the hunger that those who are experts at marketing and publicity.  If I had those skills, I believe I could have done more for myself at a much quicker pace.

9. Where do you see yourself in the next year? Five years? 
I see myself traveling outside the DC Metro area for speaking opportunities on a full-time basis.  In the next five years, I see myself writing another book or two.  I also see myself expanding my business empire to include radio, television and investing or starting a business that my daughters can hopefully take over one day.

10. What advice or inspiration can you share with the readers? 
I would like to inspire readers to keep going despite the obstacles. Trust the process of preparing to step into their big dreams. We have to learn how to be responsible with the little in order to be responsible with a lot.


For more information about Qiana Budd, or to find out about her book, The Pivotal Relationship, please connect with her on Facebook, or like her page.