I contemplated writing this blog post for many months. It never seemed to be the right time to share this portion of my life. Shame and fear were in the way. But there comes a time when a coach has to coach herself. A minister has to minister to herself. I had to take my own advice and do what I knew was right.

I was sent to prison in 2011 for a probation violation, federal system. When I got out, my husband was gone. I had no money. But because I'd gone to a facility with great medical care, my body was finally on the mend. I was depressed though. I was lost and afraid. And I was lonely. Those aspects caused me to grasp at whatever was in front of me and that nearly cost me my life.

For 3 years, I dated an abuser. He abused me emotionally and physically. He cussed me, called me every name imaginable. He cheated. He lied repeatedly. It got so bad that I actually ended up stabbing him in self-defense during a pretty bad fight. And for this, I'm still going back and forth to court, facing up to 15 years in prison for defending myself. That, ladies and gentlemen, is called a storm. My life was torn up, though for all public accounts, I was okay. My career was on an upswing and my name was as good as gold. But my personal life was a catastrophe. So, how does a minister, a coach, a business owner, an empowerment personality end up where I was?

It was loneliness and fear of facing this world all alone. But more importantly, it was a portion of testimony that I needed. Somehow, though I had been unfaithful in past better relationships, I managed to stay true to this guy. Somehow, I was changing rapidly for the better while being treated like a mangy dog. And while I experienced pain at this man's hands like no one else, to the degree of him blaming me for being molested as a kid and raped, even with all that, it felt as if I was trapped. I had no money. I had very little income even with a business. I had very few clients. I had no one I could trust to say, "Hey, I need help!" So I suffered and suffered and suffered.

It took me 3 years, but finally as I began to step more into my business and calling, as I began listening to the testimonies of those I was coaching, I was able to walk away. I didn't walk away wealthy or even comfortable. In fact, I spent several nights sleeping in my car on the hospital parking lot. I didn't walk away into the arms of another man. I decided to trust God. After all, I had been unprotected, unloved, disrespected and mistreated by this guy. God had been my saving grace even in that mess. And so my light came on and I decided to drop the fear, the stories and the pain. All that existed was me, a creation, and God, the Creator. Then instantly, and I do mean instantly, I saw a path open before me. I saw what freedom looked like. 

Don't let your story stop with loneliness and fear. And don't submit yourself to ill treatment out of fear that God will fail you. Sometimes, free people endure hardships. Sometimes, you can get so hungry for whatever that slavery seems more advantageous. That is the lure of the enemy to keep you in bondage. He can only bind you with your own permission. I took my freedom back, praise God. What will you do?

One day I was staring at someone. I'm not sure what I was looking at or looking for, but I sat there transfixed. I could not tear my eyes away. Then I heard a voice which at first I thought for sure was someone else's, but it turned out to be my own. What are you looking for?

What indeed?

For many years of my life, I wasn't completely sure of myself. I had so many conflicting desires, emotions and traits that I'd get confused as to which belonged to the REAL me. I was sweet and loving, but deadly and vengeful. I was intelligent but made dumb decisions. I wanted to be married but I wanted to be alone. The list goes on. During those times, I watched people a lot, especially other women. It wasn't until many years after I found my own identity that I realized why I would stare and get lost in other people. I was looking for something to identify with, looking for myself, or someone to model myself after.

There are many people who have not embraced themselves and have not found their own identity. When we're in a lost state, the words, opinions and sneers of others tend to get in our hearts. Because we have no foundation and no faith in ourselves, we allow their words and judgments to become our personal truths. But the truth is, you are who you are. If some things seem to conflict in your personality, in your desires and in your character, it is because we were never meant to be typed or boxed in as creations of the Most High. The reason you make no sense to yourself is because you're still trying to fit yourself into a little neat box. The day that I stopped judging myself and trying to define who I am, I became who I am supposed to be, ME. I didn't have to look for myself in people or how they responded to me. I didn't have to beg people to believe in me or believe with me. I didn't need flattery and criticism didn't touch my heart. You see, when you realize you are who you are, capable of all things, fully equipped and lacking nothing, it doesn't matter if you are a ball of contradictions. You learn to love you like you stand right NOW. That self-love opens the doors of possibilities that will allow you to become the best you possible.

No longer look for yourself in the eyes of others. That's not where the truth of you lies. It lies within you. God created you with everything you need. There is truly nothing lacking and no validation from others is needed! Indeed!

Follow me on Facebook, at Officially Lacresha Hayes and on Instagram. Be blessed in your journeys.

In recent days, I've been busier than ever. I've accomplished a lot. But in direct correlation to all the busyness, I've been emotionally all over the place. I had an emotional breakdown yesterday. Though brief, it reminded me of an important pillar of life and success.

There are times when we try to push these bodies to the limit. We starve them of nutrients, sleep and rest. But then later, we are appalled and don't understand when they begin to fall apart on us. No matter how busy you are, you have to make time for restoration and refreshing.

While at the gas station sitting in my car, I was able to center myself. There was no music. No conversation. Nothing but relative silence. And in that silence, I remembered my Source and prayed. By pouring out all that was in my heart, I found refreshing.

Here's a weird truth I've found: the busier we are, the more we should pray. When you have a day that brings many changes, challenges and blessings, you need to be dropping each happening at the feet of God. By staying in constant communication with Him, you don't get bogged down with the cares of this world. You stay in a place of empowerment and enlightenment. You stay connected to the Source and nothing that happens stays with you because as each thing comes along, you are presenting it as a freewill offering to God. Yet it seems the busier we get, the less we pray. The less time we spend listening to God. Here's how you change that:

• Before you get out of bed, spend a moment in silence. Thank God for the day and ask His guidance and will for it. Then give it a moment of sitting with Him.
• As you get each task done, take a moment to thank God for the accomplishment. Acknowledge Him as you move along to the next task.
• When you find yourself getting overwhelmed, take a bathroom break and take one full minute to close your eyes and practice breathing exercises. Remind yourself that the treasure you have is that the power is of GOD and not you yourself. Visualize your Father watching you and cheering for you. Then go back to your tasks.

No matter what is going on with you, do not think that prayer and silent time with God won't help. There is no clarity like that you get when you are connected to the Vine. Be blessed!

Find me on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn.

Depression was a state of being for me for the majority of my life. Indeed, I've only been walking free for a few years. During some particularly low points, I did attempt suicide, which left issues that I must still deal with today.

In recent news, pastors and their children are committing suicide at an alarming rate. Depression is widespread. People are bottling their emotions, afraid to seek help, and are pumped full of fear by the media they love. Thus, it is no surprise that suicide is contemplated so often, and successfully carried out many times.

So what is the problem? Part of it is that we do not stop to smell the roses, to love one another wholly. We are souls, composed of a mind that can break, a will that can weaken and emotions that can be chaotic and misleading. When those pains and issues are not handled, people crumble and seek release from the pain, the anguish, the hopelessness and the worthlessness they feel. Often, that is where suicide meets depression. But it can be stopped by helping others to find resources, find coaches, find Christian counseling or otherwise. We have to read the right books, visit the right pages, surround ourselves by strong, prayerful and positive people. Influence and surrounding are everything for an emotionally damaged person. And whether you believe it or not, we all suffer some emotional damage. If you've never visited the darker, more painful side, it is probably a testament to the wonderful people in your life. Love prevents it, not felt love but shared love. Shalom!

Join us at Your Healing Partner, Officially Lacresha Hayes and The Rape of Innocence blog for more empowerment! I also have a BTR radio show you are sure to love, THE AWAKENING.

At no time in life are we truly alone. Even when no people are present, God is there. Today during a particularly difficult moment, I remember feeling completely forsaken. Now, while everyone wants me to believe that I'm too mature in Christ to feel that way, I believe it was purpose even in that moment and that emotion, as suffocating as it was.

In those moments when we feel alone, we have a choice to make. Thankfully, I was not even physically alone going through my moment. I had a visible person and audible voice of reason. Still, I had to make a decision to either throw away everything that I knew to embrace all that I felt or trust what I know to be true and allow the peace of that knowledge to soothe me.

At some point in your faith, in fact many times on your journey of faith, you'll have to believe when all the odds go against your belief. There is no way to escape it. But if you face down the emotions that suffocate and the gloomy thoughts that plague, all that is left is God's peace. I speak that to you tonight and every night for the rest of your life. God bless and thanks for being faithful readers here at blog. 

For more encouragement, follow me on FB, Twitter or at Your Healing Partner.

As a person who has suffered several illnesses, one quite debilitating, I know about natural limits. I know how it feels to be limited, to feel as if there is a top to your growth that you'll never be able to overcome. Well, God has taught me a lesson.

While my body is limited, my body does not constitute my full existence. I am a spirit housed here and so, while my house is limited, I myself am not. In the height of my physical pain, I was limited in movement, to a point I was required to use a walker. I was limited in my thinking also, because it seemed the pain drowned out every other thought. But in the middle of all that hopelessness, I was introduced to myself, to my spirit person. 

In life, emotions tend to scream at you. Circumstances block you. Thoughts may cripple you. But when everything else breaks down, you are left with only you, and that is the place you discover the real you. Then, in that moment of discovery, you learn the boundlessness of living in that person, that spirit person who actually possesses direction, wisdom, strength and unconditional joy. You discover that all of the horrible happenings, all of the emotional meltdowns, all of the angry, sad or hopeless thoughts did nothing to devalue the person you are. Your value is only enhanced by the knowledge gained through your experiences, whatever they may have been. You see, when you live in that spirit person, you are connected to a different source and governed under new dominion, real dominion. That spirit person is the part made in the image of God, the part that is able to embrace the full and abundant life God created us to live and Christ died to restore to us. Time to embrace it.... be free and take spiritual flight. You are truly limitless!

Join me at Officially Lacresha Hayes, Twitter or at Your Healing Partner. I look forward to us growing together.

As people, we're often exceedingly judgmental. We love leaders because that gives us someone to point the finger at if something fails or falls apart. If a family doesn't make it, it's the man. If the country struggles, it's the president. If a company is in trouble, it is the CEO. This is our programmed thinking. But let's have a moment of clarity.

Each decision we make leads us down a road. Often, we blame the residents of the road we chose for making our lives difficult, but they have always been on that road. That is where they live. We decided to use it and thus, we cannot complain or blame for our own decision. What am I talking about? 

When you decide to interact with someone, you have no clue what their addition to your life will bring. If they bring complications, you may blame them. But, didn't all this begin when you decided to allow them into your life? And if so, did you maybe get ahead of yourself? Did you ignore wisdom? And along another line of thinking, have you considered that there is nothing wrong with either of you? Maybe you are just not meant to be connected?

You see, we are godlike in our ability to decide. That is why prison is such a terrible experience, because it severely cripples your ability to decide. In that ability, there is a huge responsibility to make good decisions. When we make careless ones, it cripples our lives and the lives of others. So, my one "bad" decision may motivate your "bad" decision, which causes other "bad" decisions to be made and that ripple continues endlessly until we learn that we are continually deciding and can decide differently at any time we want. We must accept responsibility for our own lives, not leaving it to chance, to others, or living it carelessly, but living it on purpose.

If my country is struggling, it doesn't matter how much others are doing wrong until my own failures in patriotism has been addressed. If my company struggles, before I blame the leadership, I must ask myself how much am I investing in the success of the company. If my marriage struggles, before I blame him, I must take a serious look at my own issues within the marriage. You see, the secret to a purposeful life is seeing yourself as a developing individual and learning from all your interactions, both "good" and "bad" ones. When we point the finger completely outside us, it also removes our power to affect the outcome of any situation. I don't like feeling powerless, but to wield my power, I must also wield my responsibility. 

It'd be a huge blessing to see you over at Officially Lacresha Hayes interacting. Also, like our Your Healing Partner page and help us spread the word about some powerful, life-changing posts.

Challenges exist to weed out the unqualified. I have always believed that. Survival of the fittest has a certain truth to it, even if it does denote an air of cruelty.

When I began building this women's program, Your Healing Partner, I never imagined the adventure I'd face. And yes, I'm most definitely having an adventuring. I'm experiencing some things I'd only ever heard about. Some of them are difficult.  In those difficulties I'm facing, I can either cave in and release this wonderful program, or I can dig in my heels and fight for my dream of building whole women. I want to see the damage reversed.

So in the face of these challenges, I focus on all the blessings I've received, on the power of my testimony and all that I've already accomplished. I focus on those who have a similar story who need the avenue to share. I remember that I'm no longer fighting for myself alone, but for all those who have endured and will endure the trials of womanhood. If I was supposed to quit, I'm sorry. I didn't get the memo. Ladies, healing is available to us and yes, we can walk in complete freedom and wholeness. Cheers to you!

Like our page and subscribe to our blog today. 

Being a woman, seems you're pulled a thousand different ways at once. You want to be all things to everyone, but what about you? Sometimes, ladies, we're like broken china. Our hearts get broken. Our spirits get broken. Conflicting emotions and desires fracture us. If you've been there lately, this retreat is for you.

3 amazing coaches, myself included, will be offering holistic group coaching. We'll share on how to rebuild your life by first transforming your thoughts and accepting yourself. We'll rebuild healthy spiritual principles and emotional strength. We'll polish you off with an amazing physical assessment, valued at over $1000 alone, that will help you get where you need to be in your health. This exclusive testing will be provided by a certified bio-energetic technician. We're seriously invested in your wholeness! The level of coaching offered is top grade! But beyond all that, you're looking at three women who LOVE working with women, who are personally invested in each of you, who have dedicated their lives to helping others.

I hope you will attend. Please visit Your Healing Partner to register. If you've been searching for change and renewal, THIS is the answer! See you there!

The daily chore of living may have worn you down. You've worked your fingers to the bones, made sacrifices others can't even imagine, and lived through pain you thought would kill you. For that, I salute you and say, "Go on with your beautiful self."

Even if life has left some scars behind, that doesn't  detract from your beauty for the thing that makes you special is on the inside. That fierce loyalty, that determination, that heart-expanding love that is inside you makes you who you are. Your mistakes? Well, they were how you learned to be the better person you are. Stop regretting and let go of sorrow. Your mourning days are all over now. You have survived. Baby, you are a bad mamma jamma. Don't doubt it one bit. GO ON, with your beautiful self.

Join me at Officially Lacresha Hayes and Your Healing Partner.