Life gets more complex the more hats we wear, but there is a way to simplify a busy life. It's called prioritizing. Before you tune me out, finish this article.

In the beginning, we're just children. We belong to parents, some good and some otherwise. We do what they tell us and some of what we want, suffering the consequences (big ups to punishment, the switch, extension cord and belt lol). As we age, we take on the role of student, employee, employer, mother, father, sister, brother, believer, friend, spouse and the list goes on. We become a host of different things to different people. Trying to create a balanced life in the midst can be daunting!

In my life roles, I often floundered until I discovered the true secret to prioritizing life. The secret is keeping sight of who you are and what you desire. When you are in tune with yourself, you gain the insight necessary in de-cluttering your life and mind.

In general, most people can agree that family is first, financial security often ranks second, followed closely by social acceptance. But in most lists, spirituality ranks very low, if it ranks at all. Character ranks low on the list. And as long as that is the case, life will become cloudy with each new thing that comes into view. For the spiritual, for the believer, for the person who is ready to try it differently, here is my list of priorities in order of importance, 3 only:

1. Faith- for me, the most important thing is being approved by God and finding grace for the mistakes I make in life. Thus, anything else that comes along has to line up with that or it will create problems for me in all other areas of my life. My legacy is wrapped up in my faith. Any future commitments must be wrapped up in faith. My faith plays a role in every decision I make.
2. Family- if I were married, I would have said marriage instead of family. Why? Because so often we think mom and dad are equal to spouse and that isn't the case. We feel that we must balance and take care of our WHOLE family and that isn't the case. For me, as a single person, family denotes my child first and then all others in no particular order of importance. For a married person, spouse first, children next, and then everyone else as long as they don't conflict with spouse and children.
3. Freedom- this might seem baffling, but hear me out. Freedom means being unshackled from all the chains that bind. Now, some will wonder why I didn't put this before family, but family is a commitment, as is faith. The only two things I want to be shackled to is my God and my family. After that, I desire above all things to be free of the control, opinions and oppression of others. If I am free, I can be a great witness to God's love and purpose, a great wife and mother, a great friend, and more. I can be and do what I want. And as long as my mind is free, my family is well and my faith secure, I can make all the money I want to make because every other distraction or doubt is simply an illusion.

These principles have helped me launch YOUR HEALING PARTNER, holistic coaching for women. They have empowered me to rebuild my life after divorce, sickness and all the other issues I have faced in the past two years. These principles are tried and true. 

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The most important person in your life is you. It took many years and a lot of understanding for me to finally accept this truth. For some who are hyper- religious, or super spiritual, you will not want to accept this as the truth, but it is. You are the most important person you'll ever encounter.

As I searched through scripture, I noticed how often it came right back to us. In a quest to love the way God intended, I realized I cannot give what I do not possess. There's a lie that floats around the world, a popular saying: "I love her more than I love myself." or "I am nicer to others than I am to myself." On the surface, those things may appear to be true, but let's dig a bit deeper.

I used to do everything I could to win favor and friendship with people. I'd overlook their slights, try to laugh off their cruelty and share even when I didn't have enough for myself. Then I'd go home and beat up on myself for taking the abuse but run right back to it. Do you think I was loving them more than myself? I wasn't. I was doing us both an injustice. Do you think I was being nicer to them than myself? I wasn't. It's the greatest cruelty to see a friend headed to destruction and smile them along the way. Thus, just because it seems kind and loving and self-sacrificing doesn't make it so. I cannot give love to anyone if I don't have love for myself. I cannot give grace and mercy if I do not first partake for myself. I may try to fake the characteristics, but the Judge of our hearts know the truth.

Start with yourself. Learn how to love you through a close relationship with God. Learn how to forgive yourself, be kind to yourself as you grow into God. Learn how to partake of all God's goodness so that you can give of the same. If you don't first accept it into your own heart and life, all of your preaching and teaching and pretending is in vain because it will not profit you to win the world but lose yourself. You don't have to make that sacrifice. It's already been made. 

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This week has brought many things to a head for me. I suppose having my son and his wife visit made me face something I've not fully dealt with. I guess there had been a certain fear that kept me from fully addressing the issues of a nemesis I could not control-- aging.

Doesn't matter how great you look, how much money you have, how much you've done with your time, the aging process is sometimes terrifying. Along with advancing age is the growing concern for your health and the impending certainty of death. I never thought either of those things were issues for me. But watching my son be a grown, mature man who is now building his own family, I realized that I'm not 21 any longer. I'm growing older. I have a grandchild on the way. And then, those thoughts gave rise to many other thoughts, most of them unpleasant. I had to pray my way back.

It is my faith that alleviates my fears of aging. Through faith, I realize that aging doesn't have to hurt, doesn't have to include sickness and more diseases, doesn't have to include boxes of medications and nursing homes. But what you fear, you focus on and then it seems bigger than it is. Though many elderly fight through the aforementioned things, there are many who do not. There are many who live productive lives until their deaths which do not always include pain and suffering. Also, many young people suffer disease and are cut off in their youth. And the faith of God showed me that I've already fought my most feared battle and won. I was already sick, bedridden, broke and facing death. It wasn't youth that saved me then. It was God! 

My prayer is that you will not fear the passage of time. It is a blessing to see time move and progress happen. And even if your outer body faces decay, you are much more than an outer body. Your inner spirit can soar and you can experience joy, peace and prosperity all the days of your life, young and old. It has never been youth that gave us anything. It has always been that inner strength and that doesn't age.

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If you knew how wonderful you are in someone's eyes...

If only you knew how much love there is for you on this side of creation...

If you only knew how much power is inside you...

Stop being your own worst critic. Stop abusing yourself. You wouldn't put up with that treatment from anyone else, so why do it to yourself? Why stew on all your mistakes? Why ponder over all the things you think you're missing and unable to do? Why put yourself down and give up on your own life?

Today, make it your decision to stop the abusive thoughts and words. Make it your decision to live in a positive atmosphere. Choose to encourage yourself. Choose to love on yourself. Keep believing and it will get better. Listen to your friends, family and strangers when they compliment you. Don't shrug it off. Accept it. Receive it in your heart and think on it. Whatever you think about most is what will manifest itself. Much love.

Join me at Officially Lacresha Hayes and on Twitter. I've also recently launched a new blog called Your Healing Partner. You definitely want to support that movement. I'm here to help restore you to healthy esteem and hopefully provide a starting point for your new life. If you hadn't yet, support me by ordering my books. You can get them on this site or order via Amazon. This helps me minister to the masses and keep an open line of encouragement for everyone. God bless!

Like many women, I've had times when I felt low and empty. I was hungry for affection and so the first kind thing a man would say to me made me think he could be "the one" for me. I went through a few too many relationships with nice guys who were not meant to be my guys.

As women, we're emotional and even the toughest of us are still emotionally susceptible when it comes to matters of the heart. If there is a history of abuse or bad relationships and low self-esteem, then that area is twice as vulnerable. But that emptiness you feel is not meant to drive you from bed to bed. It isn't an emptiness that can be filled by just any man, and in fact, cannot be healed by a man at all.

The hardest lesson is the one that makes us face ourselves. Love has to come from within and not without for it to matter. You cannot hope to meet anyone whose love is big enough to make up for the love you will not give to yourself. That's an incredible burden to place on anyone. The better idea would be to heal first by learning who you are and accepting that person, loving that person unconditionally and then choosing to give that person (YOU) the best life possible. And when this is done, the right person will not be difficult to find and the relationship will not begin with a deficit. Men, you know this goes both ways without saying.

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The simplest key to happiness is not money or prestige. It isn't even any form of religion, including Christianity. There are too many miserable believers in the world. The key is not found in the opinions and actions of others either. So what is it?

The key to happiness is gratitude. I can't be miserable and grateful at the same time. I can't resent someone I genuinely appreciate. I can't complain while listing all the reasons I'm thankful.

Breaking it down to health, life and strength are not enough. Be specific and keep the things that you're happy about front and center. Start your morning by listing the things, people and circumstances you appreciate. What you focus and speak on will grow. So starting right now, today, grow your happiness with your gratitude. On Facebook? Let's chat!

A beautiful soul is one that is willing to accept some pain for the benefit of others, who will sacrifice for those who need her/him. You see, the things we're taught to value mean nothing when bad times come. Money cannot save you. Sometimes, even friends and family can't help. But who you are on the inside is what counts when you go through a storm.

When I was young, my soul was filthy from experiences and bad decisions. I didn't think or act the way I should. But through great teachers, I learned values, morals... I learned where strength lies. It isn't in possessions that can be destroyed or stolen. It is in the soul that has been redeemed and transformed.

Your love is worth more than your money. Your life is worth more than your possessions. Your integrity is better than your gifts. Your loyalty, your faith and your kindness can save a life. Develop the core values of good living if you hope to be joyful and live an abundant life. Otherwise, what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul?!!!

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Who you are and what you stand for is your choice. No one else gets to define the parameters of your life. Sometimes that can feel like a heavy burden when there is so much stimuli in the world vying for your attention. But no one else has the authority to choose for you.

In the midst of everything, you must be willing to do the hard stuff. Ask yourself who you are, what you believe and what you want out of life. Then, when you figure out some of the toughies in your own life, you can add other things without the stress.

I spent many years lost. I didn't know what to do or how to behave. I wasn't sure who I wanted to be. After I began learning about God and comparing Him to what I've always known, it wasn't hard to decide what I wanted my life to be about. I preached for over 10 years, but it wasn't as much about the platform as it was about the ability to touch and change lives. That's what I want out of my life, for my pain to have purpose. The only way that can happen is if I use it to empower other people. I want to build people, to give someone a reason to hope. I'm 37 and I'm living my dream and walking in my purpose, even when I'm wobbling. Now, you have to make that same decision to regain control and define yourself. Then free yourself to walk it all out.

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More and more people are writing me asking about esteem issues. They have pasts and problems. They have people that make them both seem worst than what they are. They want to be free from all that bondage in life. I'm not quite sure when or how things shifted to this place in my life, especially since I have to work out my own freedom daily, sometimes falling miserably short. Still, here we are.

I don't have a three step process to building healthy esteem, but I can tell you that it is a process. It's going to be different for everyone, but the beginning is the same for us all. We have to want a better life. I'm not talking about a passive thought, but a constant, nagging urge to be free. I think it's imperative that we don't miss the fact that everything in life begins when we make a choice. Christ died to free us from every bondage, yet there is a yoke awaiting our necks at every turn. It's so easy to get tangled up in the world that by the time most of us wake up, we're constricted to the point of suffocation. And that's how some of you feel right now, like you might just suffocate if one more thing is asked of you, if one more thing is taken from you, if one more plan fails you. You feel like a failure, but you have known success. You feel weak, but look at all you're holding on to. You must be pretty strong to do that. You're fighting for your family, fighting for your finances, fighting for your health and fighting for your life. You wrestle against this feeling of suffocation in vain, trying to deny it exists, but you feel like you might spontaneously combust any day now. If you want to be free from that, you have to understand and let go of how you became that way in the first place. 

Whatever you're feeling right now, know that you can feel and actually be free. It won't happen overnight, but it can and will happen if you continue to work toward it. For more information or inspiration, visit Officially Lacresha Hayes, or connect with me on Twitter. Also, please subscribe to Blog P3.

There is nothing more important than finding out the truth about yourself. It isn't easy to look inside ourselves. We are pressured on every side, but if we never assess ourselves, we'll never know wholeness on the level God first intended.

There is beauty and ugliness in each of us. We have weaknesses and strengths. We have fears but find courage. We are human. But each person also has their own unique make up and offerings for the world. Unfortunately, too many pass on without making the mark they could have made or living the life they could have lived if only they'd taken a moment to face the truth of themselves and had exercised the courage to change or get rid of the things that hindered them. It may be too late for millions of people, but it isn't too late for YOU!

Today doesn't have to be like any other day. It can be a day in which you choose to ask yourself the difficult questions. What do YOU like? What makes you happy? What saddens you? What ignites your passion? What makes your heart skip a beat? Does anything outrage you? Are there any injustices you wish would go away? How do you feel about yourself? What do you want to change? What characteristics do you secretly admire and wish you had? These are the kind of questions that change the path and purpose of your life and make life worth living. I love you and I hope you will take the things I share seriously. I don't do this for money, because I don't get paid to blog. I do this to make a difference and share my experiences in life. I once asked myself all those questions and frequently re-evaluate myself. I know how powerful the right questions are. After all, I was born into brokenness, raised in dysfunction, dropped the ball a million times and yet God mercy led me to a place where hundreds of thousands of people are touched by my life. It can and it will happen for you!

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