For many years of my life, I wasn't completely sure of myself. I had so many conflicting desires, emotions and traits that I'd get confused as to which belonged to the REAL me. I was sweet and loving, but deadly and vengeful. I was intelligent but made dumb decisions. I wanted to be married but I wanted to be alone. The list goes on. During those times, I watched people a lot, especially other women. It wasn't until many years after I found my own identity that I realized why I would stare and get lost in other people. I was looking for something to identify with, looking for myself, or someone to model myself after.
There are many people who have not embraced themselves and have not found their own identity. When we're in a lost state, the words, opinions and sneers of others tend to get in our hearts. Because we have no foundation and no faith in ourselves, we allow their words and judgments to become our personal truths. But the truth is, you are who you are. If some things seem to conflict in your personality, in your desires and in your character, it is because we were never meant to be typed or boxed in as creations of the Most High. The reason you make no sense to yourself is because you're still trying to fit yourself into a little neat box. The day that I stopped judging myself and trying to define who I am, I became who I am supposed to be, ME. I didn't have to look for myself in people or how they responded to me. I didn't have to beg people to believe in me or believe with me. I didn't need flattery and criticism didn't touch my heart. You see, when you realize you are who you are, capable of all things, fully equipped and lacking nothing, it doesn't matter if you are a ball of contradictions. You learn to love you like you stand right NOW. That self-love opens the doors of possibilities that will allow you to become the best you possible.
No longer look for yourself in the eyes of others. That's not where the truth of you lies. It lies within you. God created you with everything you need. There is truly nothing lacking and no validation from others is needed! Indeed!
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