During my hiatus, I had the opportunity to learn a considerable amount about drugs and addictions. The complexity of it all, but the simplicity of the hunger, the urge, the drive. It's maddening! The emotional fallout is unbelievable! That you can want something that is so damning to your life is completely beyond the grasp of sane people. For the truth is, addiction is an insanity. The drug of choice is the portal to let that insanity play out. You may not have chosen a chemical. Maybe, like me, your drug of choice is love.
One of my friends used to love reminding me that we can't help who our heart loves. I didn't argue the fact out loud, but I didn't fully embrace her theory. I hadn't yet met the one who would show me the truth of it. Indeed, many men and women right now go about their daily lives, working, shopping, smiling, laughing, whooping it up for the world. But when the lights are off, when the world is quiet, when the distractions cease, they can't help but remember the ones they really love. You know exactly what I mean. Get honest since no one is watching you read this blog. That man/woman who you still wish you had, still miss with everything in you, still respond to when you see them or hear from/about them. You may have someone else. You may do everything you can do to make them happy, to celebrate them, and to love them. But the truth is, inside you there is another and you know it. You're painfully aware.
For all intents and purposes, some people would say that it doesn't matter if you still love someone in your heart of hearts. But I beg to differ. One of the most important things in the world is your heart and what abides there. Out of the heart flows the issues of life. Our hearts can condemn us. Our hearts can mislead us. Your heart is the core of your soul and it must be kept, guarded, watched and frequently purged. Otherwise, you may find yourself in a position you didn't plan for or see coming because love never stops calling.
When someone is in your heart, whether you want them there or not, whether they deserve to be there or not, that attachment is not easily broken. Running off with Mr. Perfect or Mrs. Got-it-Together won't stop love from calling out to you. It won't stop you from yearning, wishing and missing. It won't stop the dull ache that never really seems to go away. And time won't heal it. Many women have walked away from "Johnny" and married "Larry" just to end up cheating on Larry with Johnny or Johnny Proxy many years down the line. Who is Johnny Proxy--- Johnny Proxy is the man who reminded you of someone, the one you found yourself drawn to because the fire for Johnny himself never died. Oh, men do it too. Often, you guys try to drown out whatever emotional attachments you feel with every vagina you run across in a 100 mile radius. There is an better way to deal with the call of love lost, the longing of what once way, and the attachment that seems to linger.
When love calls, answer the phone. Have the conversation you need to have. Close the issue when you can. Don't embrace denial and don't try the game of substitution. Deal with what it is--- it's over and there is no going back. Put your heart before Father and let Him heal you, do the spiritual surgery necessary. Maybe you didn't realize it, but a breakup is akin to separating babies who are sharing one body. You need a specialist, and thank God, we have one in Him.
I'm telling you this because it's true. You and I are the only ones here. I know how hard it is to put the phone down, to stop texting, calling, to ignore FB messages, to delete profiles and block further contact. And even with all that, there is still this love. But I also know how good it feels to be free. I mean, honestly, have you ever been FREE? When was the last time you met someone as just yourself without all the soul ties? I mean, do you even know how you like your own eggs without the men or women you've had? I believe it is time to find out so that when love calls to you again, the right love, you can answer as a free man, a free woman. Godspeed out there.
One of my friends used to love reminding me that we can't help who our heart loves. I didn't argue the fact out loud, but I didn't fully embrace her theory. I hadn't yet met the one who would show me the truth of it. Indeed, many men and women right now go about their daily lives, working, shopping, smiling, laughing, whooping it up for the world. But when the lights are off, when the world is quiet, when the distractions cease, they can't help but remember the ones they really love. You know exactly what I mean. Get honest since no one is watching you read this blog. That man/woman who you still wish you had, still miss with everything in you, still respond to when you see them or hear from/about them. You may have someone else. You may do everything you can do to make them happy, to celebrate them, and to love them. But the truth is, inside you there is another and you know it. You're painfully aware.
For all intents and purposes, some people would say that it doesn't matter if you still love someone in your heart of hearts. But I beg to differ. One of the most important things in the world is your heart and what abides there. Out of the heart flows the issues of life. Our hearts can condemn us. Our hearts can mislead us. Your heart is the core of your soul and it must be kept, guarded, watched and frequently purged. Otherwise, you may find yourself in a position you didn't plan for or see coming because love never stops calling.
When someone is in your heart, whether you want them there or not, whether they deserve to be there or not, that attachment is not easily broken. Running off with Mr. Perfect or Mrs. Got-it-Together won't stop love from calling out to you. It won't stop you from yearning, wishing and missing. It won't stop the dull ache that never really seems to go away. And time won't heal it. Many women have walked away from "Johnny" and married "Larry" just to end up cheating on Larry with Johnny or Johnny Proxy many years down the line. Who is Johnny Proxy--- Johnny Proxy is the man who reminded you of someone, the one you found yourself drawn to because the fire for Johnny himself never died. Oh, men do it too. Often, you guys try to drown out whatever emotional attachments you feel with every vagina you run across in a 100 mile radius. There is an better way to deal with the call of love lost, the longing of what once way, and the attachment that seems to linger.
When love calls, answer the phone. Have the conversation you need to have. Close the issue when you can. Don't embrace denial and don't try the game of substitution. Deal with what it is--- it's over and there is no going back. Put your heart before Father and let Him heal you, do the spiritual surgery necessary. Maybe you didn't realize it, but a breakup is akin to separating babies who are sharing one body. You need a specialist, and thank God, we have one in Him.
I'm telling you this because it's true. You and I are the only ones here. I know how hard it is to put the phone down, to stop texting, calling, to ignore FB messages, to delete profiles and block further contact. And even with all that, there is still this love. But I also know how good it feels to be free. I mean, honestly, have you ever been FREE? When was the last time you met someone as just yourself without all the soul ties? I mean, do you even know how you like your own eggs without the men or women you've had? I believe it is time to find out so that when love calls to you again, the right love, you can answer as a free man, a free woman. Godspeed out there.
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